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The "How to f*%king dress yourself" Thread (or The "I can't get any" Thread)

94K views 1K replies 136 participants last post by  sdemo45 
#1 · (Edited by Moderator)
This thread's Bible:

Girls don't like to want to figure you out or think about what you're wearing. You want simple, clean choice of casual clothing. Nothing to jump out at anyone, don't draw attention, just look clean and well put-together. You can ABSOLUTELY accomplish this with something as simple as jeans and a t-shirt. Accessorize smartly. Not with man-purses, but with an interesting pair of shoes or a high end backpack (if you need the utility) to show that you know where it's important to spend money and get a quality product.

If something so simple and elegant in the sea of bros wearing the bullshit flat billed hats, skater shoes, pants that don't fit, and shirts with a million logos doesn't get it done, then you need to work on your physique and/or your personality.

Seriously, keeping it simple makes you stand out and attractive to girls these days.

Yesterday i was wearing some nice fitted jeans, a crew neck black fitted t-shirt, a belt EXACTLY like what was shown above, was clean-shaven (well... no guard buzzed, minor stubble), and a pair of Black Puma Squash 2000s. I had girls mentally undressing me ALL DAY. EVERY SINGLE FEMALE.

I'm not an amazingly attractive dude, it's just all how you put it together. Oh, and black makes my beautiful eyes stand out. :lol:
Continue.
 
#2 ·
Re: The "How to fucking dress yourself" Thread (or The "I can't get any" Thread)

There is always too much grease under my fingernails to dress nicely. I will just ruin nice clothes.

But I like where this thread is going... Nothing like talking about fashion on a Miata forum to dispel certain notions about our cars.
 
#4 ·
Hey man, a guys gotta know how to dress himself. If I wore ratty car show t-shirts and gym shorts everywhere, the only play I'd get would be from other Miata owners, hahaha.

Another fine read: theartofmanliness.com
 
#5 ·
Re: The "How to fucking dress yourself" Thread (or The "I can't get any" Thread)

Who knew that the dude that's been in the same relationship for over 5 years would be the one to hand out this advice. :lol:
 
#8 ·
Re: The "How to fucking dress yourself" Thread (or The "I can't get any" Thread)

I agree with the OP's quote until it got to the example. Then all that ran through my mind is this dude is just a concieted douche as a bro in a flat brimmed hat.

I can't help it if the gentler sex finds me attractive.

And for me, it's not about trying to figure out what pulls the most ass. I'm happily taken. It's about what i feel good in. Nobody feels good if they're dressed like a fucking hobo or a walking billboard advertising products that you don't even use.

Look good, feel good. Clothes make the man.
 
#10 ·
Re: The "How to fucking dress yourself" Thread (or The "I can't get any" Thread)

On handbags/messenger bags/murses:

15:21 <WhiteSpy9>
guy at work carries one
15:21 <WhiteSpy9>
it is weird
15:21 <WhiteSpy9>
its like going out to lunch with an extra person
15:21 <WhiteSpy9>
trying to find it a seat





 
#13 ·
Re: The "How to fucking dress yourself" Thread (or The "I can't get any" Thread)

I need new shoes, thoughts? I tend to wear jeans in the winter and athletic shorts in the summer (probably need to change this, I don't have any "real" shorts). Was going to pick up some Sparco Time 77's for walking around shoes, maybe in white but keeping them clean would be a PITA. Good choice or stupid?

I'll be back for more I'm sure, I take zero thought in dressing myself unless it's for a planned date or a job interview. Or a funeral.
 
#16 ·
Re: The "How to fucking dress yourself" Thread (or The "I can't get any" Thread)

I need new shoes, thoughts? I tend to wear jeans in the winter and athletic shorts in the summer (probably need to change this, I don't have any "real" shorts). Was going to pick up some Sparco Time 77's for walking around shoes, maybe in white but keeping them clean would be a PITA. Good choice or stupid?

I'll be back for more I'm sure, I take zero thought in dressing myself unless it's for a planned date or a job interview. Or a funeral.

How much walking are we talking? Or do you just want a sexy pair of sneakers?

Those aren't bad... a little busy for me personally, but there's worse out there.
 
#14 ·
Sdemo I think at some point I guess I don't care what people think of me as much as what I think of me and what I like and dislike.

If I cared that much I guess I would wear the hat I wear or have my messenger bag, or drive a miata an volvo. All of these make me happy and I am fine with that.

I will continue with what it is I do.
 
#15 ·
Re: The "How to fucking dress yourself" Thread (or The "I can't get any" Thread)

White is a pain in the **** and I would never recommend it unless they're athletic shoes for the sole purpose of beating the hell out of.

I rock short tongued sambas generally when I wear shorts. Simple enough.
 
#17 ·
Re: The "How to fucking dress yourself" Thread (or The "I can't get any" Thread)

White is a pain in the **** and I would never recommend it unless they're athletic shoes for the sole purpose of beating the hell out of.

I rock short tongued sambas generally when I wear shorts. Simple enough.

Sambas are always a classy choice, but they've been replaced by my new favorite "Samba-style" shoe.

Gentlemen: I present to you, the Puma Squash 2000.




Superior fit and finish (and quality of material) to the Samba, less bulky than the Samba, and breathes better than the Samba. There is only ONE downside to these when compared to the Samba, and that's that the Samba has SLIGHTLY more padding/cushion than the Puma, and also has a little more arch support.

The Puma is also available in a variety of classy yet fun colors.
 
#19 ·
Re: The "How to fucking dress yourself" Thread (or The "I can't get any" Thread)

If you're wearing athletic shorts, get athletic shoes. If you're actually dressing yourself, and wearing shorts, boat shoes are the way to go. Sambas/ that style of shoe will also work if actually dressing yourself. Just make sure they are in a neutral or muted color.
 
#26 ·
Re: The "How to fucking dress yourself" Thread (or The "I can't get any" Thread)

If you're wearing athletic shorts, get athletic shoes. If you're actually dressing yourself, and wearing shorts, boat shoes are the way to go. Sambas/ that style of shoe will also work if actually dressing yourself. Just make sure they are in a neutral or muted color.
I feel like an idiot always wearing basketball type shorts (no I don't wear them halfway down my shins either like a brotha, just to the center of the kneecap) ALL THE TIME but they're comfortable. Guess I need to looking into those plad shorts or whatever I always see ads for.

So not something you'd wear all day on your feet? Those will be fine, then.

I couldn't wear my Speedcats if i'm walking around ALL DAY. (Car meets, autocrosses, shopping trips, etc...)

But for a few hours at a time, look classy, good driving shoe, good choice. I'd lump the Sparcos in the same category, just again, a little more "busy."
I used to wear the fat skater type shoes, but I have tiny feet so I started thinking it looked stupid to wear a big shoe when I enjoy the nimble feeling of small shoes. Those boat shoes you guys posted look nice, so do the Pumas, I'll be looking into that style for sure, just need to get some shorts to match. I thought the 77's were a bit nicer than the ones with the giant "S" on the sides, but busy still I guess.

Unrelated, I have a bad habit of wearing long sleeved undershirts under t-shirts, and all I can ever think of is Stewie "I wear short sleeve shirts under long sleeve shirts under short sleeve shirts". Douchey or no...?
 
#22 ·
Re: The "How to fucking dress yourself" Thread (or The "I can't get any" Thread)

I like this thread.

Because I used to play a lot of action sports I used to only ever wear sneakers, but because I work in an office it wasn't in good taste for me to walk around in Jordans or DC's, too flashy for me anyhow. I skate or bike to work and am lazy so bringing a second pair of shoes to the office was out of the question, as such I find myself loving very discrete sneakers, all black, flat sole, thick or thin depending on what I secretly want them to do.

Example:


EDIT: dammit already mentioned the samba lol too slow


Some one once told me ties should end at the center of your belt, but I notice a lot of people have them ending higher these days. Is that convention old fashioned?
 
#29 ·
Re: The "How to fucking dress yourself" Thread (or The "I can't get any" Thread)

Some one once told me ties should end at the center of your belt, but I notice a lot of people have them ending higher these days. Is that convention old fashioned?
That convention IS old-fashioned, but still applies depending on what style/cut your tie is, as well as whether or not you're wearing a jacket/vest over it.

Basically, if it's a thin tie, don't bring it all the way down to your buckle, it looks weird.

If you're wearing a traditional old-style fat-bottom tie, bring it down to your buckle. I still tend to end this style of tie right at the TOP of the buckle, but either direction an inch from the top of the buckle is AOK.
 
#31 ·
Re: The "How to fucking dress yourself" Thread (or The "I can't get any" Thread)

If you're wearing that hat bring a kayak because you'll soon find yourself in a pussy-juice tsunami.
I like my women to know I at one point in time might have had enough money in my wallet to buy a hat.:haiguyths:

It's not douchey, it's immature. 6th graders do that.
Agree.

Just wear a long sleve shirt if you want sleeves.

I am instantly reminded of boy meets world by a long sleeve t under a short sleeve t. Personally I'd leave the layering to casual button up shirts.
 
#33 ·
Re: The "How to fucking dress yourself" Thread (or The "I can't get any" Thread)

I get compliments on my attire all the time, so I'll chime in..

T-shirts: Buy ones that fit! Your 2 sizes too big or too small make you either look like a child or a poser ass gang-banger. Keep it simple. Solid colors and or cool designs or art but nothing too extreme. No stupid "Hurley", "DC Shoes" or "LRG" branded type shirts. Are they paying you to be a walking fucking billboard for their company? Didn't think so. Cool or interesting shirts can go a long way. I've gotten tons of compliments and questions about two of my Woot Shirts. 1 and 2. Simpl, but interesting.

Dress shirts: Fitted. Always. Yes, "bigger guys" can wear a properly fitted shirt and it will always make you look more lean. Once again solid bold colors that match your personality. Like myself, I'm pretty neutral and have a calm demeanor so I wear lots of shades of grey (plus it's my favorite color) I also like red, black, deep purple, maroon etc. BOLD or bright solid colors. No stupid plaid patterns, stripes etc. (unless it's winter and it's a flannel) they make you look like some Hollister poser twat from the midwest that has no idea Hollister is a shitty city somewhere in CA.. Also; at work, tuck in. Out n about, let it out! and top button undone

Pants: Once again, fitment is key. Buy pants/slacks that fit your body type. You thin? go ahead and buy some slim fit jeans. You got some meaty ass legs? Go ahead and buy a lil wider legged pants. HEMMING. Almost all my jeans are hemmed. You spent 50-100 bucks on your jeans so what's a few extra bucks to makes them look right on you? No one looks good with pants 4-8 inches too long that are dragging on the ground fraying out at the seams looking all trashy and ****. Get that **** hemmed and have a "perfect to you" look. Just make sure the bottom opening of the legs fits the type shoes you wear..... Which brings us to..

Shoes: This is a big variable. But shoes should tie in your personality. You active? Some low-key nearly solid color athletic shoes will show that off. You a slacker/whatever? Chucks/Adidas/skate shoes (but not the super bulky ones like Osiris etc.) Outdoorsy? Some dressy hiking/approach shoes will show off you touch with nature. Professorial/dressy? Some leather or suede dress/casual dress shoes be it boot type, slip-on, lace-up or old man Sperry's will look the part. Keep these brown, tannish, natural suede etc. Black is boring, you're not always going to a funeral. Also, shoes and your belt should match as close as possible.

Accessories: Belts: match shoes, and get the right size! having ten extra inches of over-lap on your belt looks dumb. Necklaces: NO. Bracelets: eh...use caution. Watches: MANLY! Ties: thick with thick blazer lapels, thin with thin blazer lapels. Tie them correctly and have them hang right. the bottom point should be right at the beltline.

That's all I got for now, If I think of more things I'll ad-on
 
#34 ·
Re: The "How to fucking dress yourself" Thread (or The "I can't get any" Thread)

i wear the most awful ****.
bright colors.
yellow with red.
blue with red.
green with red like a fucking christmas tree.
i wear absolutely gaudy hats.
i am fat.
i am unkempt.
i am dirty.

and this girl fucks me



so get it out of your head that you need to "fucking dress yourself" in order to "get any"
 
#41 ·
Re: The "How to fucking dress yourself" Thread (or The "I can't get any" Thread)

i wear the most awful ****.
bright colors.
yellow with red.
blue with red.
green with red like a fucking christmas tree.
i wear absolutely gaudy hats.
i am fat.
i am unkempt.
i am dirty.

and this girl fucks me



so get it out of your head that you need to "fucking dress yourself" in order to "get any"
Had too lol

 
#39 ·
Re: The "How to fucking dress yourself" Thread (or The "I can't get any" Thread)

If you can't tell you look like a Trent whore, a douchebag, or a slob then no amount of interweb advice will help you. Further, the ver folks that should read this will be the first ones to ignore it.


Lost cause.
 
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